A-Z of Country Limericks

There was a young girl from Angola
Ten times a day she drank cola
After 19 big fillings
And tooth fairy shillings
All that remained was 1 molar

There was an old man from Belarus
Who raised the world’s largest goose
It laid eggs of pure gold
That were too heavy to hold
So he took them to market on a moose

There was a thin man from Cameroon
With a head shaped like a crescent moon
Which was no use at all
Until at the giant’s ball
He was used by the host as a spoon

There was a posh man from Djibouti
With a long thin nose like a flute he
Sat on a leopard’s skin chair
Put his nose in the air
And played but looked ever so snooty

There was a ballerina from Egypt
Who trod on a banana and slipped
She went 20 feet in the air
Got caught on a pole that was there
And fell naked when her leotard ripped

There was a beekeeper from France
With and uncontrollable urge to dance
When his feet came alive
He could jive on a hive
And do a move called the honey pot prance

There was a zookeeper from Guatemala
Who kept an unusual impala
It was nicknamed “Mad Michael”
And rode a green unicycle
Whilst eating pink taramasalata

There was a taxi driver from Haiti
Who, politely, was a little bit weighty
He ate 50 burgers a day
And when hailed with “I say!”
Said “There’s no room in my cab for you matey!”

There was a young man from Israel
Who liked to walk around in chain-mail
He passed a scrap metal works
Where the magnets went berserk
And up in the air he did sail

There was a jolly lady from Jamaica
Who became a celebrity baker
She made loaves that would rise
And to no-one’s surprise
Made the world’s first whole-meal skyscraper

There was huge man from Korea
Whose favourite drink it was beer
With a waist of 3 metres
He drank quarts, pints or litres
Or a barrel if that wasn’t too dear

There was a fire-eating lady from Lithuania
Whose pastime was pyromania
Anything you could name
She’d eat whilst a-flame
Can you think of anything zanier?

There was a long legged lady from Malta
Who became an Olympic pole-vaulter
She achieved her gold medal goal
Without even using a pole
She just stepped and the bar did not falter

There was a magician from Nepal
Who sold his tricks on a stall
From invisible inks
To a chain with no links
He became rich from selling nothing at all

There was a storyteller from Oman
Who spun a very good yarn
With tales of spiders and snakes
Sometimes they would take
Longer to recite than the Quran

There was a wicked witch from Peru
Whose favourite dish was frog stew
With warts big or small
She would boil them all
And serve them with a sauce that was blue

There was a golfer from Qatar
Who also played the electric guitar
One day he was heard to mutter
“I’ve forgotten my putter”
But he still managed to go round in par

There was a young girl from Rwanda
Who kept a smart salamander
At maths it was best
And she passed pass every test
Using all the help it could hand her

There was a hairy lion tamer from Spain
But compared to the lion he felt plain
So as a matter of fact
He brightened up his act
By growing whiskers and a long shaggy mane

There was a trapeze artist from Tunisia
Whose act kept making her dizzier
No-one could work out why
Until she said “To help me fly
My drinks need to be much fizzier”

There was a girl from Uganda
Who held fancy dress parties on the verandah
There were gorillas in kilts
And tigers on stilts
Even a camel dressed up as a panda

There was a colour blind man from Venezuela
Who became the Queen’s personal tailor
Mixing purples, pinks and greens
There were gasps wherever she was seen
And the King had to use an inhaler

There was a flatulent man from Wales
Whose burps they turned into gales
People called him a yob
But he got a very well paid job
On a millionaire’s yacht inflating sails

A country once nearly started with X
Whose President had a persecution complex
He said “Get me out of Mexico
And rename our country Xico”
Which left the citizens awfully perplexed

There was a dyslexic gardener from Yemen
Who planted some seeds to grow melon
Although yellow and shiny
It looked ever so tiny
Then he realised what he’d grown was a lemon

There was a stonemason from Zanzibar
Who built a rather weird car
Made out of granite
It was the toughest on the planet
But it was slower than a snail by far


I like the rythym of a limerick.
The idea of these A-Z limericks is for a suite of subjects which are at once fun and educational.
The first here is the A-Z of Country Limericks....and yes X was always going to be a challenge!

Copyright John Deed